Sarah Roush

Our household entered a new phase of parenting this past weekend. Sparky, our toddler, has decided he might be interested in the mysteries of potty training.

Our family was in northern Ohio for my company’s annual convention. I had just completed a 16-hour workday and was soaking away the aches in the tub when Sparky came crashing into the bathroom. He announced he had to use the potty and proceeded to strip down. I sat up, unsure what he was really planning on doing.

However, he raised the lid of the toilet, stood on his tiptoes and proceeded to try to use the commode. I exclaimed “Good job, sweetie!,” which in hindsight was dumb. Because, without any notice of any kind, I – along with the tub, shower curtain, wallpaper, toilet seat, lid and, of course, the floor – received a warm body fluid surprise. As I took in the totality of it all, he was crowing over his accomplishment. “See mommy? I did it!”

You sure did.

I crawled out the tub and cleaned up the mess our son’s personal sprinkler system had made. In the next room, I could hear Sparky arguing with the Hubs over whether he needed a diaper because he was now a big boy. The rest of the weekend passed without any other incidents (that I know of) and, Sparky charmed many of the convention attendees while refraining from jumping into the waterfall and pool located in the front lobby.

Sunday evening, he decided to give the big boy toilet another go. I had shown him his training potty a bit earlier in the day and he viewed it with a certain degree of skepticism. He had been introduced to it several months earlier and had promptly decided it was for wearing as a hat.

This time, he carried it into the bathroom, I was naïve enough to think “Wow! He is going to use his potty! This boy is a genius!”

When I peeked around the door, it was to see him standing in the training potty in front of the toilet and watering the toilet paper roll and sprinkling into the heating/cooling vent. I asked him if he had gone into the toilet and he responded with an emphatic “no.” His reason for the answer was because the bowl was too cold.

I once again, explained how to use the training potty and he seemed to understand. An hour later, I came back to find it full of toy dinosaurs and dog biscuits. When asked about it, I swear, he rolled his eyes as he explained that it was because his dinosaurs needed a snack. Uhm. Okay.

I’m not certain how this new skill set will progress in the next few weeks, I am however, stocking up on cleaning vinegar, and am considering plastic wrapping the walls and floors in the bathroom. One thing is certain, this too, will pass.

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